Our Lil Darlins

Eversince I gave birth, whenever Herman works in de mornin shift I'll stay at home wif ma two kids...Stayin at home wif them is no big joke...I nid to be on de move most of de time...Whenever adik cry abg will also cry seekin attention n vice versa...Its juz like havin twins coz frm wat ppl told me, wen one twin is cryin, de other twin will also cry but in ma case, one is a toddler while de other one is an infant n de cry of a toddler is deafenin as to compare to an infant, which could irritate or agitate u...I noe dat abg is jealous of adik eversince adik came home...Abg always distance himself frm adik,do touch n go things towards adik n many morelah...Theres even once wen I was breastfeedin adik on de rite(sorrylah if its a bit obscene but juz tot of sharin it), abg came cryin askin to be carried, so I pulled him up n let him sit on my left lap. But guess wat abg did de moment he sees his adik? While adik was bz suckin, he pushed her head. As my hands were full at dat moment(one hand supportin adik while de other hand supportin abg)de only thing I could do is shout at abg. It didn't end there.Next abg grab 'de thing' adik was suckin n of cozlah adik also suck even harder I had to let go of abg n pulled his hand away.Whenever I scold abg, I fil sad coz I noe he doesn't understand why now he needs to share everythin wif adik. Eventhou he doesn't want to share wif adik, he still let adik use his old stuff n de funny thing is whenever adik is not usin it, abg will sit on it n rock himself. But till now abg doesn't want to be acknowledged as abg eventhou we haf bin callin him dat b4 adik was born.He refuses to come wen we call him dat. So I make it a point to play wif him n cuddle him n kisses him n tell him I love him whenever adik is fast asleep.My only hope is dat when he grows up, he doesn't hate his adik but love his adik dearly...