Our Lil Darlins

Today I think I woke up on de wrong side of de bed..I didnt haf de mood at all to do anythin..to talk..to eat..juz everythin..I felt more of hatred n anger in my soul..Even my gals noticed it n wondered why am I in such a bad mood which they eventually asked later in class..Entahlah maybe my hormones were a bit haywired early morning-morning today due to de Monday Blues..Or maybe I was too tired of cookin on Sun evening..

Digress sikitlah eh...Nak puji diri sendiri(siapa lagi kalau tak diri sendirilah kan...)Entah apa punya superpowerlah eh semalam,I some how managed to cook spaghetti bolognaise n macaroni cheese..My sis n her hubby came wif their panny cake n when she saw de food she was askin me "ni telefon ke buat sendiri?"...My hubby said he love de macaroni cheese..My sis asked to take some pics n post it on de blog but by then I was already feelin very de tired man n I cldnt eat much...Overall I think I did a great job n I'm really proud of myself...Kudos to myself..heheheh

Ok back to my real story morning glory...U see,when u r pregnant(based on my own judgement n 3 experiences,but then results may come in vary) u will some how go thru an emotional ride..more of like a roller coaster ride..Sometimes u feel happy...Sometimes u feel sad...N sometimes u feel frustrated...

Last whole week my hormones were raging n going bonkers I think..For instance,last Mon n Tues I was on medical leave as I was totally havin a mental n physical breakdown that de doc advised me to take sometime off frm work...I felt neglected,
misunderstood n not love..n it all started de moment my tension headache attacked me,I juz cried n cried in my sleep which I find it stupid when I think back abt it..

Last Thursday,when I got de news that my mom has lung infection n she was supposed to be admitted but she refused, I started to think abt weird things...I kept thinkin abt it de whole day n de next day...I kept askin my hubby weird qns which I think he some how managed to answer it back in a positive way coz I felt better or at ease..

Juz yesterday itself,while readin a story abt a PCG SI who died on duty,my hubby was surprised to actually see me cryin..He asked me wat was wrong?? Told him abt de story I was readin n he said,"Isteri kawan I meninggal semalam u tak nangis pun?" I juz answered back "Citer nie sedih sangat"...Yes it is very very sad as to compare wif my hubby's fren's wife story..Dat story ended wif de wife being dead but de husband survive n to start wif they haf no kids...so he can actually re-start a new life after sometimes..but de other story..de late husband left a wife n 2 small kids n worst still de wife is juz like me an expectant mother,5mths now...I juz cldn't imagine that lady to be me..

I know some ppl wld rather avoid such qns n see it as a taboo,dont mention or totally forbid oneself frm thinkin or talkin abt..I too wldnt want to think of de worst but its somethin inevitable coz if its God's Will who am I to go against it..I know I'm not ready n brave enuf for any worst case scenario but Qada' n Qadar come frm Allah s.w.t..Frm Allah we came..n to Allah we shall return too..As a human being I can juz pray n ask for a better life n a happy n healthy family n to be brave when de time comes..

Oklah enuf babblin abt my ownself..For now,I juz want to concentrate on my baby boy n really hope he will come out healthy when he's ready to see de world..