Our Lil Darlins

I dont cry easily...but it doesnt mean I'm a heartless person...I do cry...I cried when my paternal grandma died,till my eyes were really swollen...I didnt really cry when my maternal grandpa died eventhou I was very close to him...maybe I was still budak2...didnt understand de meaning of death...I remembered back then kat Kg Melaka, my Msian cousins n i got a scoldin coz ketawa2 time cuci pinggan n periuk...padahal datuk pagi tadi baru meninggal...I cried when I didnt get an A1 for my Malay during O Levels(n again I didnt get A1 after retaking again...syyyesh...n u wonder how did I end up wif my current career rite?!) I cried whenever I get a scoldin frm my dad...my dad was a fierce person...I remembered how dulu kecik2 takut bila nak kena pukul...slalu me n sis will hide watever stuff yg can be used as a rotan...bila ingat balik tu...padan muka sendirik!! I cried whenever my heart was shattered...shattered as in break-uplah...which ever party yg minta break-up pun tetap pompuan akan menangis punya...maklumlah pompuan ni kan 'sentimentel'...bukannyer slalulah but whenever it happened hati tu very de broken babe...tapi tu semua nangis yg tak dalam sangatlah...

But de things that made or can make me cry are, first when I left my family house to go to my own house... Nangis rabak betul...pulak tu malam lepas sanding ard 12 plus angkut barang2 pegi rumah baru...mana tak nangis...sampai malam tido pun masih nangis2...second was when I'm in labour n thinkin abt my mother-in-law who juz passed away at that point of time. Eventhou she was my mother-in-law for abt 2 yrs only but it affected me badly...In de labour wad, I kept askin questions to myself...n third whenever I see babies or children that are physically handicapped...Be it on the papers or on tv...mesti nangis punya...juz like yesterday when I watched Tabah on Suria...it featured a mother who has a physically handicapped child yang paralyse...Wat made me cried even badly was when de mother said de boy was borned healthy...n it made me think abt my kids...wat if...I'm not de type yg bila fikir such things aje...touch woodlah...or better not think abt it...but wat if it really happen to my own kid? Will I be able to accept it? But wat touched me de most was when she advised to those who have special child like her, not to regret having them as your child and never ever feel burden by having them...aaaauuuuwwww....